Alison is a freelance author, yoga enthusiast and a strong believer of self-improvement. Look for commonalities, not differences. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. We can get caught up in how circumstances effect and affect us. Self-compassion or self-love may be a foreign concept for some people. – Frederick Buechner. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. It’s like my mom always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” What motherly wisdom. Being compassionate towards somebody you don’t know is very hard. 3. If you feel that you are both suffering the same amount you will not feel compassionate towards the other person. Being in the self-help industry for over 9 years, Alison has a plethora of knowledge which she loves to share and discuss with her readers. Excellence is a group effort, whether that be a … Empathize with others. You do not act when you are ready, but when the other person is actually paying attention as well. Not only that, you’ll be healthier, as a compassionate lifestyle creates a buffer against stress. “Put yourself in their shoes, look at the world through their eyes.” What would I find helpful at a challenging time like this? Strategies for Self-Compassion Being self-compassionate might seem unnatural at first. What Does Compassionate Listening Look Like? If you are flying around trying to fix everyone else’s problems while you are feeling ill – that it surely not the right way to learn to be compassionate. Now, let’s have a look at a few ways you can shift your mindset so that, sooner or later, showing compassion toward others becomes your new default setting. So the path to making more compassionate men is clear: understand compassion as a strength, get to know yourself, transcend gender roles, look for positive role models—and become one yourself. As Ian MacLaren said so well, Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Contribute your time, lightly used household items or charitable donations as a way to cultivate compassion. This is probably the most cliché statement of all time but honestly speaking compassion is built on this statement. Giving back activates the same parts of our brains as sex, money and dessert. This is why it’s so important to create similarities between yourself and the people you meet. There are always parallels between you and another person. The problem is that this person might not care about your feelings as much as you care about his or hers. This way rather than feeling a general feeling of compassion for everybody in the person’s situation, you will be able to directly relate to him or her and do your best to help them. I want to be compassionate. Research shows self-compassionate people engage in healthier behaviors like exercising, eating well, drinking less, and going to the doctor more regularly. By His Holiness the Dalai Lama. You can then go deeper and deeper, thinking of more parallels and you will unknowingly build compassion between the both of you. A study by the National Institute of Health observed that someone giving money experiences the same positive feelings as when they receive money themselves! The first step is “listening with the whole body.” This means literally tuning in to the person who is speaking. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too. Besides improving staff efficacy, work engagement, job satisfaction, and retention, a compassionate leader also contribute to alleviating the status barriers and making the organizational climate less oppressive and forceful. By considering the other person’s perspective, you’ll likely increase your positive feelings toward them and generate a larger sense of overlap with them. to help us see why people are behaving the way they are. Trade Paperback. Emotional intelligence. Required fields are marked *, Why Learning Finance With Videos Is a Good Idea, 7 Reasons You Need More Adventure in Your Life, Why Being Silly Allows You To Enhance Your Confidence, 7 Reasons You’re Not As Productive As You Can Be, How to Become More Consistent in Your Daily Life, 3 Tips On How To Take Initiative In Your Life, 10 Communication Skills You Need for Life and Work, 5 Things To NOT Do First Thing In The Morning, 7 Ways to Feel More Optimistic and Improve Your Mood, 5 Fast Ways To Become Happier and More Positive, Published on December 14, 2019 8:00 AM EST, 7 Ways to Celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. on MLK Day. A simple prayer like, “Holy Spirit, guide my heart,” often provides enough space (and guidance!) Compassion helps people feel what others are feeling, but also compels them to … These strategies can help. You can help yourself to become more present by practicing meditation. Kavetha is a psychiatrist, passionate about using neuroscience and eastern mindfulness to help people live their best lives. If you feel that you are both suffering the same amount you will not feel compassionate towards the other person. It can be a real challenge to step outside of yourself to see another perspective. Be selfless. Just remember that this isn’t something that will happen overnight. How would you feel if that happened to you? The results could be better. How would your family feel if that happened to you. Also check out our collection of compassionate empathy quotes for more inspiration. Not care about his or hers that moves the individual self to widen the scope of its self-concern to the. Drinking less, and going to the person who gets the brunt of our brains as sex money! 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